Self-love simply means to hold yourself in a high regard and to believe in your right to happiness and well-being. When you have self-love, you make room for what matters to you in your life. You can practice self-love every day, whether you are surrounded by loving family or friends or walking through a dark or lonely season. Self-love is not dependent on any outside circumstance. It is a constant in a world of inconsistencies and unreliabilities. The one person who will always be in your life is you, so if you invest in that relationship, you’ll always have love around you. Here are five healthy habits that will help you start loving yourself well.
1. Change Your Self-Love Mindset
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to build a constructive, positive mindset that allows you to bloom. Reject a mindset that says you don’t deserve love or that making time for you is self-serving. You can’t grow if you don’t believe you are worthy of growth. Self-love is simply admitting what you want from your life and then having the courage to make choices that will make it happen. Most of us have no problem applauding other people for chasing after their dreams. Self-love is showing yourself the same enthusiasm you show for others you love and care about.
2. Make Self Care Practices a Priority
Making a few self-care practices a priority is a simple way to begin valuing your time and needs. Choose some routines that will remind you that you matter and you’re worthy of all your love.
These can be small gestures, such as setting a glass of water by your bedside each night or picking out your clothes for the next day before you go to bed. Or they might be bigger changes, like scheduling a weekly therapy session or joining an exercise class. Self-love is being in tuned to what you need.
You are worthy of putting in this work and being there for yourself.
“Self-love is not dependent on any outside circumstance. It is a constant in a world of inconsistencies and unreliabilities.”
3. Take the Shame Out of Self-Love
Many people, women especially, have a tendency to put aside their immediate needs just to make others feel comfortable. Despite messages that glorify selflessness and putting others first, there is nothing wrong with practicing self-love and prioritizing yourself. It is not selfish and you do not need to feel shamed for believing that your happiness matters. Sometimes when you haven’t been taking care of yourself, others may have a hard time adjusting when you decide that being true to yourself is more important than making other people comfortable. Your kids, spouse, or co-workers may not like the new boundaries you’ve set or hearing “no” or “not right now” when they’ve become accustomed to “yes.” The way you treat yourself is the way others around you will treat you. As you are making this shift that prioritizes yourself, don’t be surprised that others might resist this shift. They have benefited from your martyrdom, after all. But those who deserve to be in your life will grow with you.
4. Give Yourself a Self-Love Challenge
To make something a habit, you have to do it every day for 21-60 days, depending on the experts you ask. Make self-love a habit by creating a self-love challenge with one area you really want to grow in.
One idea is to only allow yourself to speak or think kind thoughts toward yourself. Show yourself love by practicing kindness every day, all day. Let the way you talk to and about yourself drip with grace and admiration, the way you would talk about a beloved friend. And when negative thoughts come to mind, replace them with something kinder, gentler, and more true … like an affirmation.
5. Tell Yourself Self-Love Affirmations
Affirmations are the strong powerful statements that tell your mind to accept your truth. Find some self-love affirmations that connect with you and put them in memory, or stick them on your bathroom mirror or dashboard. Here are some affirmations to consider:
- I am worthy of love and joy.
- I am doing my best in the given situation.
- Taking care of myself is how I take care of my family.
- I am who I need to be.
Repeat these self-love affirmations daily and see how it changes your mindset.
When you start practicing these habits and incorporating them in your daily life, you’ll begin to realize how worthy you are of all your love.